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#273
Jackson Piper was a karaoke singer. The kind that loves himself and thinks all the girls love him too.




#199
I met a guy named Mike | , a tall and thin figure, looking mediocre in that fancy glass. | said Betty the paratrooper, smiling at the sickly stickfly Beta-male wearing the soy-boy pink shirt and green sandals. But that's what the girls go for these days, thought Mike, and he was right, because Betty reached out, grabbed him by the | hand and led him to her Ford Cortina. Let's go for a drive, honey, said she in deep tones... | So the car sped off at quite a speed.




#148
It started with an error screen. | Then I had to scream and flail my arms about. This wasn't good, after all, I do work at a nuclear power plant. | My previous job was in the Swiss Navy. That lasted a week. I've never been that lucky at work.




#249
You re about to experience everything | Everytime you die, you will go through your life all over again, but you will be able to do something differently. How would you like to undo your mistakes and rectify your regrets? | This was the question posed by Dr Reuben to his patient (or should we say Guinea Pig) Luke Brosnan in the life-simulator machine. Lie back and make your choice. Just one thing to be changed. What will it be?




#139
Bonjour tout le monde! Je veux dire... | said the German travel guide as the coach passed through Paris. This impressed Rita and Sara, two English girls from Scarborough, on holiday for the first time.




#272
Ralph Carter was on the run. Shooting wild boars was one thing, but shooting the President of South Africa was quite another...




#175
A long time ago in New York | when it was named New Amsterdam...




#150
"Unbelievable!" gasped Miss Wright, smacking her left hand against her forehead and raking it back through her curly black hair. In her right hand, she held a stack of essays - (college-ruled, double spaced, written in cursive with black ink) | And that's when I fell for her. My essay was top marked. When you write a story about skeletons you expect bottom marks, but she took me by surprise - she actually liked the story!




#142
Once upon a time, long, long time ago, there lived a space boy. His name was Freddy. Freddy Chesterton and he looked weary. His opinions and likes were split just as his house was and his mother was like all the mothers of us, just a bit more dreary. | As he stood in the doorway, he reached inside his trousers and pulled out a silver, oily crescent wrench that would be the envy of any self-respecting plumber. | Right, let's get working in this spaceship. Repairing a spaceship wasn't easy but a wrench would do the trick...




#161
I left the house knowing that something was not quite right. | But I shook off the feeling thinking that it's probably just me being paranoid over nothing. | Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Don Costa. I'm a paranormal investigator.




#229
"POP" Another Pimple fell prey to the wrath of the pinch. | I took a step back from the mirror and considered my life. Had I really just enjoyed popping a pimple? No that couldn't be... And so it wasn't. Good luck building off that lol | said Lionel to his fellow Ensemble contributor Seth. But Seth understood entirely and continued by writing "Plop - another depth charge occurred in the bathroom". Both lads were about 13 and rather puerile...




#232
There once was a robot | he liked to wear hats | But only because his programmer, Dr Elmer Rosenburger, had a comical sense of humour. And why not? Why shouldn't a robot wear a hat? Is it a crime? Robot schmobot thought Elmer as he taught the robot, called Kerslake, how to smoke a pipe...




#266
Another Thursday, another murder with the same MO as the last five. It was tough work, being the sheriff of the a town like this. Most other places have to deal with bandits and cattle-rustlers, but over here....well, mysterious killers are the norm. | This one was a real piece of work, the sheriff thought as he leaned into his chair. A month ago, the corpse of Father Callahan was found at the church, apparently beaten to death by one man. More bodies turned up every week since then, all the same | all charred and dismembered. What kind of creature could commit such a heinous crime against a man of the church?




#178
Once upon a time, three women were on a journey | A journey to Penge in South East London. Why Penge? What mysteries could a little known suburb hold for three spinster sisters, desperate for romance and adventure in Victorian England?




#265
I bought an apartment days ago and decided it was time to move in. My soon to be roommate said it was fine with me moving in any time. I packed the little things I have and made my way to the apartment. I took the key under the mat and open the door. | And that was when my luck took a downturn. I spent my first night in there petrified as a saw various spirits flying above me as I hid under the bedclothes. I'd moved into a haunted apartment with little previous knowledge of the supernatural.




#169
I always wondered why my grandfather never shared he had been a pilot. | You see, my grandfather never actually got his pilot's license. Heck, when he enlisted, he lied about being 18. | You'd think the Air Force would have noticed a six-year old flying a plane, but apparently old Gramps was wilier than anyone'd expected. | Of course, tricking the Air Force into letting you fly one of their planes isn't something you tell everyone about, but, I was his grandson. I wouldn't have got him in trouble.




#146
I starred at him in horror. "What have you done?", i asked. | "I made you a cake. Damn it Mary, why can't you appreciate anything I do for you?", the man replied, standing in the kitchen with a cake in his arms and a burning oven behind him. | "Oh I appreciate you making me a cake, Chuck. I just don't appreciate you burning our oven and possibly our house down!" I tell him as I ran through the house looking for something to use to cool the fire down. "Mary! I, uh.." | "Not now, Chuck, the kitchen's on fire!" I called. "No, I know, but you really shouldn't go further into the house!" "Why not? That's where the extinguisher is!" "Yes," he said, putting down the cake, "but there's also a | nesting dragon. You don't want it to think you're a threat to its eggs."




#271
Why do you have to feel this way about him, you asked yourself. Oh that's right, it's because you're completely goshdarned crazy, of course it is, that's the only remotely rational explanation for such ridiculously, hideously awful taste in men.




#269
It was hard to be honest. I wasn't sure how to say it. But one day, one Friday evening after little thinking, I decided to speak out. And I shared out, even though nobody could possibly understand me. I explained the secret as best as I could. | "Keats was wrong. Truth is not beauty, beauty is not truth. The world is ugly, in lots of stupid ways. But if you pay attention - to what's true, and what's beautiful, and the difference between them - you can find ways to make beautiful things




#152
"Aaaaghhh!" I heard the scream, not realizing at first that it was my own voice. | But who else screamed like a donkey getting castrated? Besides, I was completely alone...unless you wanted to include my alter ego: Barbara de Lateur...but that's another story for another time. It was pitch black and I was afraid.




#235
It was a dark and stormy night. | Rain fell from the sky in exactly the way a dinosaur wouldn't.




#244
Fireman Jason Brant looked up, wincing as the flames sent searing pain through his burned face. his vision was blurry and he was certain he had been blown deaf in one ear. | He should have known better than to try it, but what else could he have done? There had never been any choice.




#177
Martz had not slept in days, and spent the past month checking and rechecking his calculations. Ironically, every time he picked up a pen, he only exacerbated the problem he observed -- we're running out of reality. | The government's been doing what they can but it turns out it's hard to ration reality. Those who over-experience are robbing the rest of us of time, but perhaps it's worth it? Surely it's better to go out feeling something.




#240
Once there was a beaver who built himself an elaborate underwater house of sticks and logs. | This house was to keep out the aliens. You see he'd also lined it with tinfoil. It was known to be deadly to aliens. | Unfortunately it didn't work so well against the invaders from the hollow earth, whose ravenous appetites for aluminium drew them to his home in great numbers.




#156
Once upon a time a frog wandered into some mutagen and turned into a human-sized frog. | At the same time on the other side of town, a human wandered into some negatum and turned into a frog-sized human.




#242
"Two years ago, I never thought about collaborative fiction. Now I've taken part in an experiment, I can not foresee where it will lead me." That's what he told me 3 weeks ago. He died yesterday. I have to find out what happened... | but first, I need to shut off the gas to the hot water heater. | It's been making strange noises and I'm a little concerned it might be broken. I'd rather not have to pay to get it fixed just now; I still need the money for the operation.




#270
No one expected Riley to be the one who did it. No one except her old friend, Marie. She knew that if she told anyone of what she thought, they wouldn't believe her. In their eyes, Riley was someone who wouldn't do such an act.




#180
Jocelyn was a shy girl who did not make new friends easily. Her free time was spent alone, often reading books or writing in her journal. One day a mysterious package arrived, addressed to her, with no return address. | Inside the package was a cellphone with a message that says "Why do you always look so lonely?". Jocelyn stared at the message not knowing what she should do.




#258
I don't know where I am, and nothing worries me. I am wondering if I'm going mad or if I may be dreaming. I don't care how it ends, but I feel some sort of fire burning in my feets.. Everything seems to be out of it's place but I still fine. | The skin on the bottom of my feet bubbled against the hot pavement in the darkness. | AAAH! MY FEET ARE MELTING! I hopped around, trying to minimize the heat. Why on Earth did I only notice this now? I'm a freaking ice golem! What was I thinking, standing on a lava road?




#212
On a lonely battlefield, a lone rabbit had wandered too far from his rabbit hole. | Barney's carrots didn't last as long as he thought they would have for the winter. It turns out a coyote had dug through his rabbit hole, destroying his carrots. After that, Barney now had a new mission -- survive the winter. | And survive the war too, but he wasn't a part of that, Barney thought to himself.




#190
One day, I got on the bus. | The dreariness of the wrecked old machine weighed on me. | I was 70% sure there was a body on the back seats, there was chewing gum stuck to all the stop buttons, it made a creaking sound like the chassis might splinter if someone said something mean to it, and the driver was impervious to any kind of joy. | And that was just the bus. The driver looked like a skeleton with a beard and sunglasses, wearing dirty clothing, he never spoke at all, and he wouldn't let you on unless you gave him exact change.




#202
At the end of the alley, Maeve stopped running, and glanced over her shoulder to see if the wombat was still chasing her. | Catching her breath, she gazed far and saw no sign of any wombats, until suddenly she was rushed with an army of wombats. | She ducked into a nearby gymnasium and locked the door behind her. The building seemed empty beside her, though she could hear the skittering from outside. Maeve noticed that the upper walls were lined with windows. "They couldn't… could they?"




#227
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Kate. Kate was smart. She was brave. She was 11 years old, and she was a detective. | She didn't need more than a magnifying glass and a beret borrowed from her granddad's closet to be the best detective on the block. The only problem was, she had no cases. | One day at the local park, Kate noticed something floating near the edge of a pond. She took off her shoes and waded through the cool water. It was a clear glass bottle, and inside sat a note! She was very curious. "I must find a way to get it out!"




#268
One day I went to the store | I looked through the front window. It was all dark inside—closed for the evening. All I could admire was the great beauty there before me on display. I'd always wanted one, but never could quite get my hands on it. There it stood behind a glass wall.




#261
"Are you stupid?"- In beautiful handwriting, those were the words that started the letter. | "Yes"- He replied. "But it is you that make me behave like one." | "People do crazy things for love," he continued. "Like the poor sap I used to be- the one who climbed the school flagpole for you. But that man is gone now."




#267
Here's a little story about trying a thing. I like that it only allows 250 chars.




#221
I woke up that morning the same way I always did. It was dark. It was cold. I wished the day was over already. Typical day. | I hit the alarm, rolled out of bed, and brushed my teeth. But I heard an odd sort of humming noise from the living room. Cautiously, I went to investigate it, to find a large, blue police box parked on my carpet.




#223
once in a world too far away... | A strange band of travelers, composed of a muscular red creature, a nymph-like child, a vole wearing a poncho, a fat king with tentacles for legs, and a Spartan warrior (or what looked like one), crossed the Desert of Wind, searching for shelter. | The muscular creature turned to the king. "Your majesty, why are we visiting such a Talv-forsaken desert as this?" King Grabilo wiggled his tentacles in the air, a royal sign that the question was unwanted. "Beyond the Desert of Wind lies the ruins." | "The legendary ruins of the Empire Under Ground?" The Spartan-like warrior chimed in. "King Grabilo, this is a waste of a warrior! Are there no scientists under your command?" The king's tentacles stopped moving, a royal sign of seriousness. "I do." | "The team of scientists investigating these ruins have mysteriously disappeared," the king said, "I have decided to take Bortak, the strongest man in my kingdom, you, the captain of my elite warriors, and a guide to find them."




#194
I woke up in a hospital | with zombie staring down at me. He looked me and said, "Hello sir! About time, you woke up. You've missed all the fun." He then offered me a cup with something hot. "Hot tea sir!" | To say I was confuse. Would be understatement. My speech pattern bad. Even in head. Was this the onset of zombie virus? I heard so much about. | I turned. To the zombie. "I sorry. What's happening? To me." Zombie smiled. "Not thinking straight? That is one of the signs you're turning into a zombie. There's no cure for it, but we here at the Phoenix Foundation can help you keep your mind."




#257
This is a story about a wandering ghost called Megi. Megi is a lost soul from centuries ago always on the move, wandering around looking for misheivious thing to do. One day Megi aproaches a teenage he see's reading a old torn book under a tree. | What Megi did not see was that it was a book on Ghost Hunting. Hunting ghosts to send them back where they should be. Not that the living would know where souls actually need to go, but who is anyone to tell the human race they're wrong. | The boy in question--Jacob--was thoroughly absorbed in the reading. "In order to hunt ghosts, you must first learn to sense emotions. Okay, that doesn't sound too hard. Let me try that....focus....observe all...and I detect a feeling of curiosity!"




#145
Tsim Sha Tsui loosely reminded me of my days in Soweto, when we used to kick around clay bricks past unmoving human goal posts. But Soweto is no different from Teaneck, New Jersey. | Unfortunately, now Tsim Sha Tsui is a total snake rat, so instead of kicking clay bricks at other people for some reason, I kick him in his two-faced-ass, fake-ass, bitch-ass, poser-ass dick. | With every kick to Tsim Sha Tsui's gonads, I start thinking of how this all happened--why I even agreed to play his game, and how we ended up enemies.




#226
In a world with not justice a paladin awoke with a start to discover that his sword was gone. | He then looked at his surroundings and realized that not only was his sword gone; he is surrounded by men having weapons pointed at him. | The paladin smiled. "Oh, hello, my name's Benedict and I'm a paladin. Could somebody explain why my sword is gone and you're all pointing spears and crossbows at me?" "Shut up!" one of the soldiers said, "By order of Count Voltaire, you shall die!" | "What?" Benedict asked. "Why would a count order a bunch of soldiers to kill a paladin? I mean, aside from the fact that he's probably evil!" "That's precisely why!" the captain said, "Count Voltaire fears that a paladin will come to destroy him!"




#241
kjhjl fds fd fdafda fdfdaf fdefa dfd fafdffdafdf | Those were the words typed out currently on my screen. The deadline for this poem was tomorrow, and in a last ditch attempt to ascertain if there was indeed a God, I had rolled my head across the keyboard to see what would appear. | I leaned back expecting nothing but a group of jumbled letters. My face paled when I saw that I was wrong. To my utter shock and horror, I saw the words that changed my life forever. "Look behind you." | I did as the single sentence of clarity among a sea of random words ordered, and behind me, I saw a.....actually, I don't know how to describe it. In fact, I'm not even sure "it" is the right pronoun to use for it....




#248
Jeremy was try to remain calm, but it was hard considering he could suddenly talk to dogs. | Not wanting anything to do with these talking dogs, Jeremy tried his very best not to be near any dogs. But a few days later he found a injured stray dog on the road, and couldn't bare to see it in pain, so he picked it up and brought it home. | "Thanks for saving me," the dog said, "I really appreciate it." Jeremy sighed. "Try not to talk to me, dog," he said, "I don't want anyone knowing about my gift. Honestly, if you ask me, it's a pain in the neck."




#166
Everyone said you can't hear sound in Space. They were wrong. All he could hear were Sara's screams. | But then I realized that WAS FUCKING STUPID OF COURSE I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING IT'S FUCKING SPACE WHAT AM I FUCKING DUMB? | I woke up. Oh, God, that stupid dream again. It wouldn't even make a good story, and I would know, because I publish a magazine of sci-fi stories, and that one wouldn't fly. Today's audiences are all about realism, even in science fiction.




#77
His breath made no effort to hide the temperature of this particularly frigid night. Had he not taken the appropriate precaution of sporting his sheepskin-lined hunt gloves, the consequences for his digits may have been bleak. | As he tredged through the snow each step became more difficult and his strides shorter. He regretted agreeing to this experiment. Attempting to walk straight legged he tried to keep his bare skin from brushing against his now frozen pant legs. | He had to piss. He had a few options: pissing on himself would provide some warmth but it wouldn't last long; he could try to hold it, but the hut was still miles away; but he dreaded what might happen if he exposed his member to the frigid air. | In this frozen landscape, one always chooses warmth, even if it's fleeting. Andres let his bladder go and felt his thighs throb with the unfamiliar sensation. Suddenly, he had a boner. Now this was a problem. | He looked over at a tree a couple yards away. He could see two squirrels vigorously pleasuring each other. "This'll do nicely", he said, unzipping his pants.




#214
There once was a lion named Roar. He left his pride in 1983 to pursue a career in mane insurance. He had no luck. Nowadays, he makes his living organizing suburbanites' closets. | Unfortunately, Roar the Lion found a game called League of Legends. To this day, his screams can be heard all across the land.




#259
He was going to buy this house. He HAD to. It was the cheapest residence one could get, and what's more it was very inviting. Who cared about the rumors? It was all unfounded garbage anyways. | However, after thinking about it for more than two seconds, he realized that he wasn't finna die and so he bought a perfectly affordable house on the complete other side of town free from penis-stealing dolphins.




#225
"This actually isnt all that uncomfortable" he thought as he looked around the tree. He looked over his head, through the leaves and he could see the wheelchair wedged another fifteen feet higher and slightly to his left. | He decided he didn't need the wheelchair and climbed down from the tree. He reached into his pocket to grab his pocket watch, but in its place was around a pound of weed, so he pulled his pipe out and smoked that shit up lmao.




#179
Jeremy took Sandy by the hand and ran up the dunes towards the beach house. She laughed and said "slow down! The cupcakes aren't going anywhere!". | He smiled cheekily at Sandy and said, "I know. I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.". Sandy looked at Jeremy and raised an eyebrow, "Really, Jer? That all you got?". "Oh, come on! That was a good one!" Jeremy whined. Sandy chuckled in response.