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#77
His breath made no effort to hide the temperature of this particularly frigid night. Had he not taken the appropriate precaution of sporting his sheepskin-lined hunt gloves, the consequences for his digits may have been bleak. | As he tredged through the snow each step became more difficult and his strides shorter. He regretted agreeing to this experiment. Attempting to walk straight legged he tried to keep his bare skin from brushing against his now frozen pant legs. | He had to piss. He had a few options: pissing on himself would provide some warmth but it wouldn't last long; he could try to hold it, but the hut was still miles away; but he dreaded what might happen if he exposed his member to the frigid air. | In this frozen landscape, one always chooses warmth, even if it's fleeting. Andres let his bladder go and felt his thighs throb with the unfamiliar sensation. Suddenly, he had a boner. Now this was a problem. | He looked over at a tree a couple yards away. He could see two squirrels vigorously pleasuring each other. "This'll do nicely", he said, unzipping his pants.




#229
"POP" Another Pimple fell prey to the wrath of the pinch. | I took a step back from the mirror and considered my life. Had I really just enjoyed popping a pimple? No that couldn't be... And so it wasn't. Good luck building off that lol




#145
Tsim Sha Tsui loosely reminded me of my days in Soweto, when we used to kick around clay bricks past unmoving human goal posts. But Soweto is no different from Teaneck, New Jersey. | Unfortunately, now Tsim Sha Tsui is a total snake rat, so instead of kicking clay bricks at other people for some reason, I kick him in his two-faced-ass, fake-ass, bitch-ass, poser-ass dick.




#214
There once was a lion named Roar. He left his pride in 1983 to pursue a career in mane insurance. He had no luck. Nowadays, he makes his living organizing suburbanites' closets. | Unfortunately, Roar the Lion found a game called League of Legends. To this day, his screams can be heard all across the land.




#259
He was going to buy this house. He HAD to. It was the cheapest residence one could get, and what's more it was very inviting. Who cared about the rumors? It was all unfounded garbage anyways. | However, after thinking about it for more than two seconds, he realized that he wasn't finna die and so he bought a perfectly affordable house on the complete other side of town free from penis-stealing dolphins.




#166
Everyone said you can't hear sound in Space. They were wrong. All he could hear were Sara's screams. | But then I realized that WAS FUCKING STUPID OF COURSE I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING IT'S FUCKING SPACE WHAT AM I FUCKING DUMB?




#225
"This actually isnt all that uncomfortable" he thought as he looked around the tree. He looked over his head, through the leaves and he could see the wheelchair wedged another fifteen feet higher and slightly to his left. | He decided he didn't need the wheelchair and climbed down from the tree. He reached into his pocket to grab his pocket watch, but in its place was around a pound of weed, so he pulled his pipe out and smoked that shit up lmao.




#261
"Are you stupid?"- In beautiful handwriting, those were the words that started the letter. | "Yes"- He replied. "But it is you that make me behave like one."




#266
Another Thursday, another murder with the same MO as the last five. It was tough work, being the sheriff of the a town like this. Most other places have to deal with bandits and cattle-rustlers, but over here....well, mysterious killers are the norm.




#179
Jeremy took Sandy by the hand and ran up the dunes towards the beach house. She laughed and said "slow down! The cupcakes aren't going anywhere!". | He smiled cheekily at Sandy and said, "I know. I just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.". Sandy looked at Jeremy and raised an eyebrow, "Really, Jer? That all you got?". "Oh, come on! That was a good one!" Jeremy whined. Sandy chuckled in response.




#265
I bought an apartment days ago and decided it was time to move in. My soon to be roommate said it was fine with me moving in any time. I packed the little things I have and made my way to the apartment. I took the key under the mat and open the door.




#208
Katie went to the store to get a gallon of milk. On her way she ran into an old friend from high school, Chelsea. | Chelsea though shouldn't have been alive. She had died in a car accident eons ago. Katie dropped her milk and ran for home. Chelsea trailing behind her. | Katie made it home five minutes later, ran up two flights of stairs to her apartment and looked the door. She looked out the door peephole and saw nothing. Feeling relieved she turned around and sat on her couch to calm down, when suddenly , | something felt cold beside her. She looked, and there she was, Chelsea. Looking at her with a blank expression on her face. She screamed, stood up, and ran for her bedroom. She locked the door and backed away from it and sat down on her bed.




#146
I starred at him in horror. "What have you done?", i asked. | "I made you a cake. Damn it Mary, why can't you appreciate anything I do for you?", the man replied, standing in the kitchen with a cake in his arms and a burning oven behind him. | "Oh I appreciate you making me a cake, Chuck. I just don't appreciate you burning our oven and possibly our house down!" I tell him as I ran through the house looking for something to use to cool the fire down. "Mary! I, uh.."




#264
Taylor crouched down behind the bushes as she saw people gathering about in a clearing in the forest. She was new in town and the forest was just behind her house so she decided to explore and walk around the forest.




#251
Mickey had just finished eating the rice. Now it was time for biscuits and he knew just where to find them. | Mickey threw on a jacket, hopped on his 3-speed bike and pedaled madly to Aunt Fay's house. He made a quick stop to pick some tigerlilies, her favorite flower. Turning into her driveway, the scent of warm biscuits wafted to Mickey's nose. He drooled. | He hurriedly got off his bike and barged in to his aunt's house. "Mickey!" his aunt said, "I hope you don't just barge in to houses like that, young man!". "No, auntie. I promise I don't!" Mickey said, eyeing the stacks of biscuits on the table.




#234
The sun was high above her as she wandered further into the forest. If she could find the cabin, for tonight she would at least be safe from it, or at least whatever it was. | After hours of aimlessly wandering about, she hasn't a luck of finding the cabin. She became more anxious by the minute, worrying about what's to come.




#226
In a world with not justice a paladin awoke with a start to discover that his sword was gone. | He then looked at his surroundings and realized that not only was his sword gone; he is surrounded by men having weapons pointed at him.




#252
It was 26 months since the world ended. King Barney is now ensconced in his throne room with his ugly, toothy wife - surrounded by his ruthless and endless horde of giant, mutant teletubbies."I Love You", the world anthem, blares out from everywhere. | From the corner of his eye, the king a pink teletubby who was gently snoring away behind a pillar instead of standing at attention like everyone else.




#263
I've always been by myself since I was 16. I never really thought that my life will come to this. No parents, no friends, just me and my own thoughts to keep me company. I came to accept my situation a long time ago. | I stared hard at the bank loan form. The word "guarantor" seems to shout out at me. 'Who will be willing to take the risk for me?' I wondered.




#171
It was a dark and stormy night. | Although alone in the house, Kitty did not feel frightened. The fire was burning brightly and soothing music oozed slowly from the radio. Kitty expected a quiet, uneventful evening of purring on her rug while watching the kids play their games.




#241
kjhjl fds fd fdafda fdfdaf fdefa dfd fafdffdafdf | Those were the words typed out currently on my screen. The deadline for this poem was tomorrow, and in a last ditch attempt to ascertain if there was indeed a God, I had rolled my head across the keyboard to see what would appear. | I leaned back expecting nothing but a group of jumbled letters. My face paled when I saw that I was wrong. To my utter shock and horror, I saw the words that changed my life forever. "Look behind you."




#161
I left the house knowing that something was not quite right. | But I shook off the feeling thinking that it's probably just me being paranoid over nothing.




#242
"Two years ago, I never thought about collaborative fiction. Now I've taken part in an experiment, I can not foresee where it will lead me." That's what he told me 3 weeks ago. He died yesterday. I have to find out what happened... | but first, I need to shut off the gas to the hot water heater.




#142
Once upon a time, long, long time ago, there lived a space boy. His name was Freddy. Freddy Chesterton and he looked weary. His opinions and likes were split just as his house was and his mother was like all the mothers of us, just a bit more dreary. | As he stood in the doorway, he reached inside his trousers and pulled out a silver, oily crescent wrench that would be the envy of any self-respecting plumber.




#262
Episode 9 Horror Movie When I was a kid, horror movie hands down is the last thing I want to see




#157
Hello, my name is David | David is my name. I live in a field in Yorkshire, where I hunt wild game. | I don't hunt for roe deer though, not since one has saved my life during the war. It's a long story full of blood and tears.




#224
It was a dark and cheerful night | ; Everyone was sitting around the campfire, singing songs and roasting marshmallows.




#204
She had no lower jaw. She was born without one. | A real shame, because she'd be a quite stunning individual otherwise. She had




#258
I don't know where I am, and nothing worries me. I am wondering if I'm going mad or if I may be dreaming. I don't care how it ends, but I feel some sort of fire burning in my feets.. Everything seems to be out of it's place but I still fine. | The skin on the bottom of my feet bubbled against the hot pavement in the darkness.




#153
How exactly did you mangae to still spell my name incorrectly when it's written in the URL? Nice Page, Marcel will like it I'd daresay Me and Linux hmm soon | The name's Lynn X actually, no relation.




#184
My first and second arrests were not exactly shocking, but I must admit I didn't see the third one coming. | I was asleep when the police came to arrest me. | The pounding knocks on the door jolted me awake. Why was there pounding at my door? I got up from the couch, paying no attention to the old GoT episode on TV, and rushed to look through the peephole. It was Detective Meller. Shit. What did I do now?




#165
She wondered why the garage door was open. It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon, the boys were at school, and the street was quiet. She turned; there were no cars in sight. | She reached up to shut the door and suddenly stopped. Something had reached up and taken hold of her foot, and before she had a chance to scream, the house, garage and all began to sink. She shook her head and all was right again. Now it was 3:15.




#195
Once upon a time there was a mouse named Molly and she only liked things that started with the letter "M". | She hated things that started with the letter "N", so you could imagine how much she hated her neighbor, a mouse named Nigel. But Nigel loved Molly. | Nigel often thought of Molly whenever he was depressed. Her smile and her caring ways were what drew Nigel to Molly. He had asked her several times to marry him, but she always said no. | Knowing her to be the adventurous type, he invited her for a ride on his motorcycle. "Never!" she replied. "Then how about a movie?" he asked. "Not a chance." That gave him an idea.




#260
A short-red-haired girl in her 20s walked into a bar. Some bearded men on a corner table noticed her healthy knockers under the sexy black dress. A young man decided to make friends with the new chick. He came behind her stool, interuppting her chat. | "Hey sexy, don't you mind if I sit beside you?" Without waiting her response, the man sat at the next stool and ordered a new whiskey from the owner. "I'm Norman Walker. May I know your name, gorgeous?" The blond man asked, his green eyes glowing. | "Jane Smith. Actually, I mind, Mr Walker. But feel free sitting here." The woman answered without directing her dark blue eyes towards Norman. Jane Smith was not exactly the most creative made-up name, but she didn't care. | "Could I offer you a cup, sweet Jane?" Norman said. He didn't mind the woman's attitude. Jane picked the cup, turned to the bar owner. "Your treat, Mr Walker?" A mischievous smile showed in her face. "Please, Mr Owner." | Gabe, the owner and another blonde man, took Jane's cup and filled one third of its with whiskey. "With pleasure," he said with a thick Irish accent. Norman realized something and got back to his seat. "Seems like he noticed our matching rings."




#255
Life is a long hard road, especially in a demon-filled apocalypse. | "But at least, I can do anything I want from now on. With this knife," thought the young woman. Only a few weeks before then, she had been just a carefree college student without any worry in the world. She never knew these people before. | Then, they depended on her. Suddenly, a voice brought her attention back to this world, "Ivy, I brought back the new survivors we found in Szyckezy." Ivy, the woman, noticing the strange place name, nodded. "Thanks, Maurum. Sorry, did I just...?" | The other woman, owner of the new voice, smiled. "It's close. Mawromnak. Try to pronounce it slowly. Maw-rome-nack. Add a little stress on ROM part." The new woman had dirty blond hair, a pair of brown eyes and a dark, slightly red, tone of skin. | "Sorry Maw, it is already two weeks but I still cannot pronounce your name properly. Not to mention the others'..." Ivy's tone was a little depressed, but it ended soon, as Maw's hand slapped the former's back with a bit force.




#256
It was a typical day in Maui, if anything is typical in that paradisiacal part of the world. Chris was on his way to work when he saw, emerging on the horizon, a... | dragon... Ah, so majestic, scales glinting in the sunlight and tail skimming the sea foam... wait. Wait, no, what the actual... That's a dragon. An actual real-life dragon. How! That's not a thing, oh good Lord, what do I do!




#197
There I was, sitting on the top of the Chrysler building with my trumpet. | Such a proud moment. The photographer was awfully difficult to convince to take the picture I was holding, but the money had been worth it for a memory like this to show my kids.




#190
One day, I got on the bus. | The dreariness of the wrecked old machine weighed on me. | I was 70% sure there was a body on the back seats, there was chewing gum stuck to all the stop buttons, it made a creaking sound like the chassis might splinter if someone said something mean to it, and the driver was impervious to any kind of joy.




#215
I left the house, headed for work. | Or should I say work headed for me. | I am a professional monster fighter. Many monsters hunt me down in order to become famous among their kind, or to avenge their defeated kin. I didn't expect a green cyclops to know where I lived. | Heard him yell out his challenge, "Get out here monster fighter. I want to pick your bones clean." I grabbed my MMA gloves and prepared to rumble. | The deep growl I'd heard turned out to be deceptive when it came to the monster's true power. I was able to stop his single punch with my hand, and delivered a hard blow to his face. He knew now how weak he was, and turned into smoke on the wind.




#257
This is a story about a wandering ghost called Megi. Megi is a lost soul from centuries ago always on the move, wandering around looking for misheivious thing to do. One day Megi aproaches a teenage he see's reading a old torn book under a tree. | What Megi did not see was that it was a book on Ghost Hunting. Hunting ghosts to send them back where they should be. Not that the living would know where souls actually need to go, but who is anyone to tell the human race they're wrong.




#133
I looked back over my shoulder still hearing footsteps behind me I kicked over a paint bucket someone had shit in and I was at the end of the hallway then so I flew down the stairs fast as I could. I landed hard on the side of my foot, heard it pop. | The pain sent sprawling on the concrete floor. It was wet from the dozens of people who had shuffled through the hall not two minutes ago. The door to the outside was so close, but the sound of running in combat boots may be closer.




#194
I woke up in a hospital | with zombie staring down at me. He looked me and said, "Hello sir! About time, you woke up. You've missed all the fun." He then offered me a cup with something hot. "Hot tea sir!" | To say I was confuse. Would be understatement. My speech pattern bad. Even in head. Was this the onset of zombie virus? I heard so much about.




#159
There once was a man from Nantuckett, who was embarrased about being the actual first line of a dirty Limmerick | His wife was a blond that hated all the bimbo jokes. | They also met in a bar, run by a Scotsman, the man with an Irish friend, and the woman with an English friend. The coincidence was funny at first, but by now they had to wonder if there was some sort of cosmic joke being played out.




#202
At the end of the alley, Maeve stopped running, and glanced over her shoulder to see if the wombat was still chasing her. | Catching her breath, she gazed far and saw no sign of any wombats, until suddenly she was rushed with an army of wombats.




#191
fda fdk'fds afs ' frgekgfew bgvfegirkfjngd | James looked at his chat screen. "God fammit."




#140
It was seven a.m. on a Friday morning when the Lucky Leprechaun Salon opened their doors and their first customer walked in. Her name was Poco Loco she was ready for a new 'do. | The staff of the Lucky Leprechaun had never seen a chupacabra before and they surely hadn't given one a 'do, so they were understandably perturbed. As they screamed and jumped out the window, Poco wept for the injustice | But Poco's despair soon turned to anger. Filled with rage, she knew what she had to do. She had to destroy every hair salon in the world.




#151
Every time I try to continue a story that someone else started, it won't submit. | Finally, I learned the truth behind the submit button. It was controlled by alien beavers. These beavers also wanted my cotton candy. Praise the mighty beaver! | The Beaver Debugger however helps here. Any problems with beavers will vanish in thin air.




#132
I climbed up onto the hulking mass and stuck it in. | The spear went in up to the end where I held it but probably did little damage after all stab wounds do little damage to goop monsters. I shudder to think what detritus goppled by the goop it was that my spear struck at its center. | "Well, excuse me!" the mass of jello exclaimed. "Where are your manners?" | "Well excuse me, amorphous blob!" I retorted. | I've come to get a sample of your ugh... Goo... Or whatever it is that you excrete by the order of my king in the name of science for monster hunting! Yes you are, and the boy takes a sample and manages to evade the blobs attack hurries back home.




#248
Jeremy was try to remain calm, but it was hard considering he could suddenly talk to dogs. | Not wanting anything to do with these talking dogs, Jeremy tried his very best not to be near any dogs. But a few days later he found a injured stray dog on the road, and couldn't bare to see it in pain, so he picked it up and brought it home.




#163
It was a dark and stormy night.... | Aaron sat staring out the window in the cold