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You know, when I woke up this morning, I never imagined I'd turn into a goat before lunchtime. | Usually it's some time after dinner when my fur starts growing, but oh no, not today. | Today is the Winter Solstice, and I live in North America, making the sun the farthest distance away it would be all year, leaving the moon to have the greatest influence and thus the reason for my metamorphosis. | Other people turn into dragons, wolves or Nicole Kidman. But no, I'm the one who turns into a goat. | "Oh my god! It's Stevie Nix!" Shouted Nickleback, my mortal enemies. As I sat on my haunches, I listened to their one song over and over again until I regained my human form.